Deconversion

Over on the decons board they have a thread: Convenient categories: The “real reasons” de-cons leave the faith « de-conversion

Between the initial post and the discussion you get an interesting list of why people left the Christian faith (apostasy) and the sorts of accusations which were thrown at them that they found to be false. I've heard many of these for people who are leaving abusive denominations as well and so I thought these lists might be helpful:

Reasons Given:

1. Non effectuality:
• God never shows up. Not in visions, miracles, visitations, angelic appearances, or challenge matches (think of Elijah and the Baal priests) .
• Prayers are NOT answered.
• Having “Jesus in my heart” didn’t give me joy or peace
• There is no proof of ANYTHING supernatural
2. Morality:
• Christians are NOT different from non-Christians.
• Church disunity.
• God is NOT loving, merciful, good, just, etc.
• The idea that God would hurt someone to test their faith is completely disgusting
3. Apologetic failures:
• The Bible is contradictory with itself, reality, and morality.
• Everyone makes up their faith and their ideas of God as they go along.
• The Universe is capable of functioning without divine influence
• Christians use dishonest tactics to support their belief (ie Ben Stein’s new movie Expelled, teaching that Darwin refuted evolution on his death bed, multiple Kent Hovind youtube videos which present bold-faced lies about carbon dating)
• Pascal’s Wager is a horrific false dichotomy
• I took a Systematic Theology class and discovered all my deepest questions were answered with, “It’s a mystery.”
• Visited the Natural History Museum in NYC.
• Analyzed my own religion in the same way I had others.
• Realized Christianity’s stories are just as ridiculous and fantastical as every other religion’s.

Supposed reasons:

1. Hedonism
• You’re indulging your desire to live hedonistically.
• You want instant gratification.
• You are self-centered/serving yourself.
• You never dealt with sin in your life. (i.e. You were a carnal Christian.)
• You want to be your own god.
2. False initial conversion
• You never had a true personal relationship with Jesus.
• You never experienced/received the Holy Spirit.
• You were “religious” but not born again. (OR, in better church jargon) You had a “said faith, not a real faith.”
• You weren’t following the real (or historical) Jesus.
• You were never saved/Christian to start with. (Good ole Calvinism)
• You’re harboring sin in your heart.
• You’re too prideful/arrogant to humble yourself before the Lord.
• You are shutting your eyes to the obvious truth of God.
• You didn’t really understand the scriptures (Bible).
• You love/serve science/job/hobbies more than God.
• You looked to your own will/emotions instead of God’s will.
• You didn’t “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
3. Problems with church is bad
• Your decision is based on other Christians’ behavior, not on Jesus’ teachings.
• You were hurt by your pastor/other Christians.
• You were in the “wrong” denomination or sect.
• People disappointed you and so you “threw out the baby with the bathwater”.
• Psychologically flawed
• You’re looking for an excuse not to believe.
• You’re being manipulated by Satan.
• You’re not thinking about the future/afterlife.
• You’re angry and resentful and taking it out on God.
• You’re mad at God for some misfortune in your life.
• You can’t accept authority.
• You are having a mid-life, or some other life wide, crisis.
• You’re, “going through a phase.”
• You were unequally yoked (e.g. wife is Catholic, you were Protestant).
• You’re mind was poisoned by man’s philosophy.
• You became “wise in your own eyes.”
• You have a rebellious spirit.
• Poor personal practice:
• You quit seeking, or stopped “growing in the faith”, or allowed your faith to become stagnant.
• You were too legalistic.
• You were trying too hard to see God, and your own efforts kept you from success. (OR, said a little differently) You never “let go and let God.” (OR, said a little differently) You depended too much on your own strength/intellect.
• You didn’t pray/read the Bible enough.
• You forsook assembling together.

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See also:

• A similar list for Mormons (link)